I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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