oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So many bounce houses so little time
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize