Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
