I hope mine doesn't look like that
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
