My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
