dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he thought i was a dude.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
