So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
