is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think your dad took our porno
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
