Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
