we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
