just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
