we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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