grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
