4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
