That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
