my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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