woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
