Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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