508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize