Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my sisters under your porch take her home
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
