just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize