the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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