I cannot find my penis.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
