she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
