Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
