True but thats because hes a fetus.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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