sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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