I think I died a long time ago.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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