whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
