I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
