Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
