We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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