Do you still have your period?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
