i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
