You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
