Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
