Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize