I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Everclear isn't food dammit
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
