And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You were trust falling into bushes
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
