Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize