i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Randomize
