id be glad to
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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