he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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