You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So much rum. So many feels.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
