I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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