Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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