My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
