Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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