physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
