MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
