A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
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