I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
