Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize