so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
