Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
