nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
