I wannas sexs uuuuu
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
