Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
