You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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