good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize