I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
