You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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