thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
