Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
