sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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