I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
