i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
