i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
