he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize