i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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